We're Not In Kansas AnymoreExcerpts from Irving Wesley Hall's satire The Einstein Sisters Bag the Flying Monkeys, plus satire.Excerpt from Chapter 29: Adam and Eve for Sixth-Graders- (Found July 11, 2008 ) Mrs. Waters continued. "Next, the eighth question. What's the most important lesson from Adam and Eve's tasting the forbidden fruit Six" "I wouldn't touch nothin' if anybody said it would kill me especially Jehovah." Chubby-faced Seven said, "You shouldn't go naked outdoors." Five smelled of the milking barn. "Stick with dairy products. They're better than fruits and vegetables." The chauvinistic lad in the Two chair said, "Eve should have asked her husband firstbefore doing anything except...http://www.notinkansas.us/ruby.html Excerpt from Chapter 55: Maxine and Jesus Blow Off Judas Iscariot- (Found July 11, 2008 ) "I tend to be paranoid," Maxine confessed, stunned by Jesus' appearance. "I'll try not to feed that," Jesus promised. "For instance," she added, "I hope there were no Judases at tonight's meeting." He saw the worry lines cross her face. "I just don't know about Miss Bowdler, the old school librarian," she elaborated. "Judases" He repeated. "You know, Judas Iscariot, the disciple who betrayed You." "Oh that crazy story!" He exclaimed with a scowl. "Look, I didn't have a disciple named Judas...http://www.notinkansas.us/poppy.html#Judas Excerpt from Chapter 64: Jesus Meets the Cheerleaders- (Found July 11, 2008 ) Jesus materialized through the back wall of the Holy of Holies and soon stood a few feet away. "Yo!" Candy greeted Him matter-of-factly. "Whadup" Honey and Taffy said indifferently, casually moving closer. "You're not surprised to see Me" He asked. "We heard You were hanging around the school yard," said a blase Honey.http://www.notinkansas.us/poppy.html Chapter 1: Angry Jesus Pops Saddam Hussein- (Found July 11, 2008 ) Before dawn Juanito Gonzales bounced into the elegant high school boardroom with his magical laptop computer clutched in his hand. He was the smallest senior and the tenor in Shepherd's Vale School's Gospel Quartet, whose performances had made Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Juanito famous throughout south Florida. . . . Among Godley's twelve disciples, little Juanito could instantly lift the big man's spirits. The lad wasn't a native Floridian. The seventeen-year-old from Sugar Land, Texas, had...http://www.notinkansas.us/kansas.html The Einstein Sisters Bag the Flying Monkeys- (Found July 11, 2008 ) In October 2000, Florida's Shepherd's Vale School represents a bizarre parallel universe. In the real world, public schools don't stone students for violating the Ten Commandments. High school business majors don't build Armageddon theme parks. The school's loveable mascot isn't sacrificed on an altar after a winning football season. The principal doesn't send his Jewish students to Israel to worship Satan in order to speed up the end of the world. The nerds aren't angry prophets who warn.http://www.notinkansas.us/index.html U.S. death toll in Iraq at 4,113- (Found July 11, 2008 ) As of Sunday, June 29, 2008, 4,113 U.S. military personnel have been killed since the beginning of the Iraq war, according to published reports. "We're Not In Kansas Anymore" brings together news, analysis and links to provide the latest information on the escalating wars and the peace movement.http://www.notinkansas.us/munchkinland.html#TOLL GIs, Beware Radioactive Showers!- (Found July 11, 2008 ) Final part of the depleted uranium series by Irving Wesley Hall: Was Army Sgt. Michael Lee Tosto the first American victim of the Bush administration's March 2003 "Shock and Awe" attack on Iraq The 24-year-old North Carolina tank operator died "mysteriously" in Baghdad on June 17, 2003.http://www.notinkansas.us/du_4.html |