washingtonpost.com - Dave BarryDave BarryThe Last Laugh- January 3, 2005 There comes a time in the life of every writer when he asks himself -- as Shakespeare, Tolstoy and Hemingway all surely asked themselves -- if he has any booger jokes left in him.http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A35015-2004Dec29.html?nav=rss_style/columns/... A Man's Job- January 3, 2005 Oh, swell. We have yet another survey showing that men, when compared with women, are scum. Just once, I'd like to see some survey asking questions that would highlight areas where men are more likely to be superior, such as:http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A3442-2004Oct27.html?nav=rss_style/columns/b... No Thanks for the Memories- January 3, 2005 LOOKING BACK ON 2004, we have to conclude that it could have been worse.http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A17687-2004Dec21.html?nav=rss_style/columns/... The Trying Game- January 3, 2005 My wife is a sportswriter. This is good and bad. The good part is this: Say I'm lying on the sofa watching pro football, and my team, the Miami Dolphins, has the ball, and it's third and four, a situation in which the Dolphins, after considering all 3,487 of their offensive plays, always...http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A50656-2004Aug31.html?nav=rss_style/columns/... A Gentleman's Ideal Companion- January 3, 2005 I'm trying to convince my wife that we need a dog. I grew up with dogs and am comfortable with their ways. If we're visiting someone's home, and I suddenly experience a sensation of humid warmth, and I look down and see that my right arm has disappeared up to the elbow inside the mouth of a dog the size of a medium horse, I am not alarmed. I know that this is simply how a large, friendly dog says: "Greetings! You have a pleasing salty taste!"http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A17691-2004Dec21.html?nav=rss_style/columns/... This Jargon Is Too Stupid!- January 3, 2005 Join us now for another rendition of "Ask Mister Language Person," the only grammar column mentioned by name in the Bible, as well as the official grammar column of the American Association of English Teachers in the Staff Lounge Counting the Days Until Retirement.http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A31457-2004Oct14.html?nav=rss_style/columns/... An Off-Color Rift- January 3, 2005 I thought that, in today's column, I would heal the nation.http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A218-2004Dec14.html?nav=rss_style/columns/ba... Machine Politics- January 3, 2005 Pretty soon you, the American voter, will enter the sacred sanctity of the voting booth and cast your ballot for the next U.S. president. Or, not.http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A10553-2004Sep10.html?nav=rss_style/columns/... Your Gift Is in the Male- January 3, 2005 Christmastime is a festive time -- a time of parties and presents and songs that we all love, except for "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," which I, for one, got tired of in approximately 1958, and which now causes me to dislocate my forefinger stabbing the car-radio button.http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A44760-2004Dec7.html?nav=rss_style/columns/b... Dodging Darts- January 3, 2005 How do you rate yourself as a driverNo, that's a stupid question. You rate yourself above average. It's a well-known fact that all humans consider themselves to be above-average drivers, including primitive Amazonian mud people who have not yet discovered the wheel.http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A30135-2004Aug24.html?nav=rss_style/columns/... |