Wonkette: The D.C. GossipWonkette: The D.C. Gossip(Untitled)- July 1, 2008 THIS WILL TURN OUT WELL: House Republicans would have to win back 19 seats in November to &8220;Reclaim Our Majority,&8221; which is why Roy Blunt&8217;s big plan is to back exactly two GOP challengers. TPM Election Centralhttp://wonkette.com/400844/400844 Help Hillary Dude Make Nobama Radio Commercials!- July 1, 2008 Ed Hale, creator of the World&8217;s Greatest Website for pretend Hillary Clinton fanatics who WILL NOT VOTE FOR THE COLORED, has a favor to ask. Would you mind making Internet-radio commercials for his make-believe Internet Radio show against the Nobamas You know, if you &8220;think you have what it takes to be a radio star&8221; ...http://wonkette.com/400842/help-hillary-dude-make-nobama-radio-commercials Foreclosed Country of Violent Dope-Addict Fatsos Also On Fire (Or Under Water)- July 1, 2008 It&8217;s summertime and the living is terrible. Would you enjoy a Top Ten List of all the apocalyptic current events proving this is the End of America and probably The World We thought you&8217;d like that, you elitist doom-porn scumsacks. 1. Fewer than 10 percent of high school seniors are fit, tests show: Sure, this is in ...http://wonkette.com/400840/foreclosed-country-of-violent-dope-addict-fatsos-also-on-fire-o... And We Dont Read Dana Milbank, Either!- July 1, 2008 Here&8217;s Washington Post &8220;local color&8221; writer Dana Milbank drinking somewhere and talking about Wonkette, for some reason, and how he doesn&8217;t read it. And then he gets spooked, because what if Wonkette is actually there, videotaping him, in the form of Our Liz Glover Liz Gloverhttp://wonkette.com/400837/and-we-dont-read-dana-milbank-either Another Baldwin Threatens To Leave The U.S.- July 1, 2008 A while back our boyfriend Alec Baldwin said he would go to Canada if George W. Bush was elected, but he ended up staying in country and calling his daughter a pig and Redeeming himself on a funny television show. Now his stupider brother Stephen is threatening to leave America one Baldwin poorer if Barack ...http://wonkette.com/400838/another-baldwin-threatens-to-leave-the-us Toilet Queen Larry Craig and Hooker-Using Diaperman David Vitter Sponsor Traditional Marriage Bill- July 1, 2008 Republican Senator Larry Craig can&8217;t walk past a public restroom without rushing in and offering to suck everybody&8217;s cock. Republican Senator David Vitter spends all his time and money fucking hookers while shitting in his Depends. Imagine what these creeps might do if homosexual couples got married! We ignored this yesterday because your Sara K. Smith ...http://wonkette.com/400836/toilet-queet-larry-craig-and-hooker-using-diaperman-david-vitte... Wolf Blitzer Celebrates Glorious 10th Anniversary- July 1, 2008 Time flies when you&8217;re getting jabbered at by a lightly furred ballsack! Wolf Blitzer has apparently been hosting CNN&8217;s Late Edition for ten wonderful years, and this Sunday America will get to enjoy two whole hours of decadent Blitzerian retrospectives. Relive Wolf&8217;s proudest Journalistic Moments, after the jump. Who could forget his brave coverage of Hurricane ...http://wonkette.com/400834/wolf-blitzer-celebrates-glorious-10th-anniversary Investment Tips For The New Apocalypse- July 1, 2008 You know what we haven&8217;t done in a while, due to fatigue or nerves or hangovers or whatever it&8217;s called A Comment of the Day, that&8217;s what! Let&8217;s do one right now, and honor Mr. or Mrs. NebraskashireGentry for this smart economic advice in response to our tragic 4 a.m. Great Depression II post. NebraskashireGentry says ...http://wonkette.com/400832/investment-tips-for-the-new-apocalypse CNN Now Offering Free Sodomy- July 1, 2008 While America sleeps, one faithful Wonkette reader sends us this screen cap from work. Thank you, brave patriot! And thank you, CNN, for biting our rhymes.http://wonkette.com/400830/cnn-now-offering-free-sodomy Obama Assaults Elderly Woman In New Commercial- July 1, 2008 Barack Obama has a new ad called &8220;Dignity,&8221; and it is all about what a candidate loses in the process of running for President. Ha ha, just kidding! But the part in the end where he strangles the old lady is pretty undignified. YouTubehttp://wonkette.com/400829/obama-assaults-elderly-woman-in-new-commercial |