'Bred Crumbs

Where an MST3K mentality, a fondness for long sentences, and a shaky self-esteem collide in a merry explosion of whimsy and weirdness.

In Which a Nationally Televised Mention of a Particular Kentucky Restaurant Makes Me Sound Like Religion Coverage on ESPN - (Found July 5, 2008 )

So there I am, minding my own late-night business, and out of nowhere some political writer for The Nation, guesting on The Colbert Report, mentions Moonlite Bar-B-Q in Owensboro, Ky. Holy cow. My mouth started watering instantly. I should leave this to Owensboro native Dewayne, but for those not in the barbecue know, Owensboro claims its 'cue is best (though, of course, the folks there would never call it "'cue."). And in Owensboro, Moonlite is king. Before I lived in Owensboro, I..
http://www.bredcrumbs.com/2005/12/in-which-nationally-televised-mention.php

I Will Treasure Your Halitosis Always - (Found July 5, 2008 )

By all appearances, the following is real. See for yourself at Breath Capture: Everyone is born with it. A desire to be near the ones we care about most. And we find ways to remember them when they're away. A lock of hair. Letters. An old photo. And now there's Breath Capture&8482;. Capture the breath of a loved one or friend and keep them close. Forever. That's right: have the one you hold most dear breathe into a small test tube, as if he has been pulled over for DUI; seal his stolen...
http://www.bredcrumbs.com/2005/11/i-will-treasure-your-halitosis-always.php

Who Says the San Francisco Music Scene Is Dead - (Found July 5, 2008 )

Overheard from a couple approaching behind me on the sidewalk this morning: "And the second band was a Muppets cover band."
http://www.bredcrumbs.com/2005/10/who-says-san-francisco-music-scene-is.php

The iPeror's New Clothes - (Found July 5, 2008 )

What explains the press corps' exuberance for Apple in general and the iPod in particular After all, the portable video player isn't a new product category&8212;Archos, RCA, Samsung, and iRiver got there months and months ago. The excitement can't be due to the undersized screen, which measures only 2.5 inches diagonal, or the skimpy two hours of battery life when operated in video mode. As I paged through a Nexis dump of the V-iPod coverage, I searched in vain for a single headline proclaiming.
http://www.bredcrumbs.com/2005/10/iperors-new-clothes.php

When the Wheel Says Bankrupt - (Found July 5, 2008 )

I know, I know, it happened years ago, but tonight was the clear confirmation: Wheel of Fortune has run completely out of puzzles. (Why yes, I have started going back to the gym. How'd you know) The category: ON THE MENU. The answer: LOCALLY GROWN COFFEE. So, when was the last time you saw "Locally Grown Coffee" on a menu Or did I just miss an important detail Is it, in fact, Colombian Drug Lords week on the Wheel Later, in the category SHOW BIZ, the wall full o' letters...
http://www.bredcrumbs.com/2005/10/when-wheel-says-bankrupt.php

I Bet Even VH1 Can't Hum It - (Found July 5, 2008 )

At Peet's this morning, the tall young man at the register takes my order, and then, for the first time, starts a conversation with me. "Did you watch much TV in the '80s" "I'm afraid so," I say. I don't know where this is going. I braced for a mention of an unfortunate physical resemblance to some washed-up supporting actor. Though I can't think of who that might be. "Do you remember the theme from Mr. Belvedere" he asks. I shake my head. I think about...
http://www.bredcrumbs.com/2005/10/i-bet-even-vh1-cant-hum-it.php

But Before the Cherry Event, the Chastity Event - (Found July 5, 2008 )

Overheard, a man on a cell phone walking down the sidewalk. Based on his tone of voice, only the second sentence of the following was meant to be a joke. The rest was a clear case of as-a-matter-of-fact-I-can't-hear-you-now. "A cherry event What, you help someone pop a cherry" (Pause) "Oh, a chariot event." (Pause) "A charity event." ----- So, in the finest American tradition, I tried to correct one extreme with another, and follow my big blogging lapse with.
http://www.bredcrumbs.com/2005/10/but-before-cherry-event-chastity-event.php