Media's "Cracked Bells and Washed-Out Horns"- June 23, 2008 LA Times to cut 250 jobs, including 150 news jobs "Once a bear is hooked on garbage there's no cure." -- Gary Snyder ALL ALONG OUR WATCHTOWERS where our Princes of the Media tell us our views, things are looking very shaky for their latter-day plutocracy. Their ratings tank, their circulation implodes, and revenues auger into the ground like a one-winged Gulfstream. Like the once-popular Yogi Berra Restaurant, people are staying away in droves. Extreme measures seem to be called for and...http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/bad_americans/our_cracked_bel.php The Wedding Vows- June 21, 2008 ....Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. --- Shakespeare -- Sonnet 116. THE FIRST TIME I WAS MARRIED I was married to over 200 naked people. We weren't quite buck naked. The men had crudely made laurel wreathes on their heads, sometimes just a wad of weeds, while the women had wreathes of flowers around their brows.http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/analog_world/the_wedding_vow_1.php Newspaper Death: Dr. Johnson and Today's Liars for Hire- June 20, 2008 Buh-bye: In 'survival mode,' newspapers slashing jobs -Washington Times "In Sir Henry Wotton's jocular definition, 'An ambassador is said to be a man of virtue sent abroad to tell lies for the advantage of his country ; a news-writer is a man without virtue, who writes lies at home for his own profit.'" One of the amusements of idleness is reading without the fatigue of close attention, and the world therefore swarms with writers whose wish is not to be studied, but to be read. -- Samuel...http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/essays_items/dr_johnson_and.php The Declaration of Non-Dependency- June 19, 2008 Greetings Earthlings! It has come to our attention that we haven't really been at the top of your Christmas list for some time now. Like some spouse that has become too used to having her good life paid for by a husband's work and sweat, you've decided you "need your space." And we are here to give it to you. Politely if possible, but with both barrels if necessary. So pay attention. We gave you a lot during the last 55 years in terms of direct aid -- whole oceans of cash and special...http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/enemies_foreign_domestic/the_declaration.php Laguna Dawn- June 18, 2008 THE FULL MOON is sliding down the dark sky over Catalina Island off shore. Slipping in and out of sheets of haze it throws a burnished orange path out from the silhouette of the island's steep hills and across the open slate water to the shore. Below me to the north, the winding lights of the village converge on the long dark strand of the Pacific Coast Highway arcing up and over the hills of Laguna Beach and on into the towns that string out towards LA, growing ever denser along that route.http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/myths_texts/laguna_dawn.php Gay Marriage: Just Do It!- June 17, 2008 Gay fellow Americans, you are welcome to it. Next step: Gay Divorce Court on the TruTV cable channel sandwiched between Ax-Men and The Deadliest Catch. With the start of gay nuptials in California the bad-loser moralists among us are moving faster than the speed of blather in repeating the notion that gay marriages in the chapel will let polygamy come out of the closet in a rocket. As that serial monogamist Scarlet O'Hara would say, "Well, fiddle-dee-di." I'm with Dorothy Sayers on this...http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/5minute_arguments/gay_marriage_ju.php How Beautiful We Were- June 16, 2008 A short list. In no particular order. We had car shows, boat shows, beauty shows and dog shows. We ran robots on the surface of Mars by remote control. Our women came from all over the world in all shapes and sizes hues and scents. We actually believed that all men are created equal and tried to make it come true. Everybody liked our movies and loved our television shows.http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/american_studies/how_beautiful_w.php Oceanside- June 16, 2008 When you walk along this beach You take all that you can carry -- Dog, shoes, shadow -- even, If you are not very selective, "The Ride of the Valkyries." And you think that because You walk this beach So easy and so free That you will always Stroll upon this sand. Look up. A large black dog Shambles and sniffs Along this wet, black strand. Eight dark ravens Settle at the surf line, And the drunken crone Paws in the sand for a sign Where there are no signs. You're weary of all you...http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/inverse/oceanside_1.php My Father- June 15, 2008 The Interface --for my father, Albert John Van der Leunhttp://americandigest.org/mt-archives/myths_texts/my_dad.php All-Purpose Obama Apology: Because He'll Need It- June 15, 2008 "If this Demo has offended, Think but this; and all is mended, That you have but slumbered here While my blather did appear, And my changing hopeful theme No more truthful than a dream. Voters - do not reprehend. If you pardon, I will bend Over and, as I am a lying schmuck, I hope I can hold on to luck. Now to twine my serpent's tongue. I will make amends ere long. Else Barack a liar call, So please blow me one and all. Give me your votes if we be friends, And Obama shall change all your...http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/bad_americans/allpurpose_obam.php |